still getting prepared.

the travel pca called me this morning and said she'll be at my place to pick me up for the airport at 4:40 am tomorrow. fredrick told me he'd be at my place tomorrow morning at 4 to help me get ready- take a shower and get packed up. i always forget something so i'm trying to remember everything- at least i have the travel pca to assist me in remembering everything. i'm going to a halloween party that this ics program i'm in is having today at 1. i was gonna eat, then i remembered that hopefully they have food there. i also called the lady in charge of my job and had to leave her a message about not planning to be at work tomorrow. i even went to her office yesterday at work, but she wasn't there to tell her i wasn't gonna be at work on thursday since i have a plane ride at like 5 am on thursday, so i just left her a voicemail.
i'm wondering if the people who are supposed to help me with my health care aren't purposely neglecting to make sure i'm as healthy as i can be. i'm still thinking about having to take meds specifically for arthritis because my arms and joints feel stiff as hell and like they'll just snap the second i fall. i AM on calcium supplements morning AND evening- but i want to be as cautious as possible and it doesn't seem like the calcium supplements assist me with this damn joint pain. i think i look like a person in their 30's but i feel like i'm 70. i've felt that way ever since i can remember and i DO HONESTLY remember feeling this way back when i was going to the courage-LESS center.. so don't try to attempt to say it's because i'm not active or wtf else you'll pull outta your ass. i'm thinking they may be hoping i take risks and i get myself hurt, so they can shove me in a nursing home in minnesota and get sympathy from people ACTING like they actually gave a damn about me but i know they only gave a damn AT THEIR OWN CONVENIENCE. amanda doesn't understand how it feels to have negligent, SELFISH parents who never should've had children if they weren't responsible enough for it and a family who only assists you at their own CONVENIENCE when a person has a TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY. she doesn't CARE to either- JUST LET HEALTH PROFESSIONALS TAKE CARE OF IT, SO I CAN CONTINUE TO BRAG ABOUT HOW MINNESOTA HAS THE "BEST HEALTHCARE" SO I DON'T HAVE TO ASSIST HER WITH HER REAL GOALS BECAUSE NO ONE LISTENS TO DISABLED PEOPLE ANYWAY! *CLAPS*